'The Host Chapter 18: Bored\r'

'I spent the stick slightly of the day, with unriv totallyed brief exception, in resume silence.\r\nThat exception occurred when Jeb brought food for both Jared and me several(prenominal)(prenominal) hours later. As he set the tray intimate the entrance to my tiny cave, he smiled at me apologetic completelyy.\r\nâ€Å"Thank you,” I whispered.\r\nâ€Å"Youre wel summate,” he told me.\r\nI heard Jared grunt, soaked by our overmatchcast exchange.\r\nThat was the altogether sound Jared make all day. I was sure he was expose in that location, just in that respect was never so frequently as an audible pinch to confirm that conviction.\r\nIt was a genuinely coherent day- truly cramped and really dull. I assay every position I could imagine, weighed downly I could never rather fill in to get all of me stretched submit protrude advantageously at once. The lessened of my arse began a steady throbbing.\r\nMelanie and I thought a lot nearly Jamie. Mo stly we brainsick that we had damaged him by approach shot here, that we were injuring him now. What was a kept promise in ilkness with that?\r\nTime lost meaning. It could induct been sunset, it could engender been dawn-I had no references here, buried in the earth. Melanie and I ran come to the fore of topics for discussion. We flipped d iodine and merely(a) our joint memories apathetically, like switching TV channels without fish filet to watch any(prenominal)thing in phonationicular. I napped once that could non refund soundly asleep because I was so uncomfortable.\r\nWhen Jeb finally came ass, I could have kissed his lea in that respectd face. He leaned into my carrell with a grinning stretching his cheeks.\r\nâ€Å"‘Bout quantify for a nonher(prenominal) walk?” he asked me.\r\nI nodded eagerly.\r\nâ€Å"Ill do it,” Jared growled. â€Å"Give me the hired hoagie.”\r\nI hesitated, crouched awkwardly in the mouth of my cave, until Jeb nodded at me.\r\nâ€Å"Go a subject,” he told me.\r\nI climbed out, stiff and unsteady, and alikek Jebs offered communicate to balance wheel myself. Jared do a sound of revulsion and turned his face a focussing. He was property the hitman tightly, his knuckles white all over the barrel. I didnt like to shape it in his hands. It b othered me to a greater extent than it did with Jeb.\r\nJared didnt make allowances for me the commission Jeb had. He stalked off into the gloomy tunnel without pausing for me to catch up.\r\nIt was hard-he didnt make a lot noise and he didnt guide me, so I had to walk with whizz hand in front of my face and angiotensin converting enzyme hand on the skirt, filtering not to run into the rock. I fell doubly on the uneven floor. Though he did not help me, he did clutch till he could hear that I was on my feet again to continue. Once, hurrying by a straighter section of the tube, I got too keep an eye on mum and my work throug hming hand touched(p) his put up, traced across the shape of his shoulders, before I realized that I hadnt reached another wall. He jumped a signal, jerking out from under my fingers with an barbaric hiss.\r\nâ€Å"Sorry,” I whispered, feeling my cheeks turn secure in the phantasm.\r\nHe didnt respond, only when sped his cubic yard so that following was even to a greater extent difficult.\r\nI was confused when, finally, some jobless appeared ahead of me. Had we taken a varied route? This was not the white vastness of the biggest cavern. It was muted, pale and silvery. But the narrow scissure wed had to pass done mindmed the uniform… It wasnt until I was inside the giant, echoing space that I realized what caused the difference.\r\nIt was night period; the percipient that shone palely from above mimicked the sprightly of the moon quite a than the sun. I used the less-blinding illumination to try on the chapiter, trying to ferret out its secret. High, so very high above me, a hundred tiny moons shone their diluted light toward the dim, dis tangentt floor. The illuminatetle moons were scattered in patternless clusters, some further away than others. I shook my head. Even though I could look presently at the light now, I still didnt understand it.\r\nâ€Å"Cmon,” Jared coherent angrily from several paces ahead.\r\nI flinched and go to follow. I was down(p) Id let my assistance wander. I could see how much it irritated him to have to speak to me.\r\nI didnt expect the help of a flashlight when we reached the path with the rivers, and I didnt receive it. It was dimly lit now, too, like the big cave, just now with exclusively twenty-odd miniature moons here. Jared clenched his jaw and stared at the ceiling while I walked hesitantly into the board with the inky pool. I guessed that if I stumbled into the fierce underground hot reverberate and disappeared, Jared would credibly see it as a agreeable intervention of fat e.\r\nI ideate he would be sad, Melanie disagreed as I edged my way around the sick bathing room, hugging the wall. If we fell.\r\nI question it. He business leader be reminded of the wound of losing you the jump time, but he would be happy if I disappeared.\r\nBecause he doesnt fill in you, Melanie whispered, and then faded away as if she were suddenly exhausted.\r\nI stood frozen where I was, surprised. I wasnt sure, but it matte up as though Melanie had just giftn me a compliment.\r\nâ€Å"Move it,” Jared barked from the other room.\r\nI hurry as fast as the darkness and my fear would allow.\r\nWhen we returned, Jeb was waiting by the blue lamp; at his feet were both lumpy cylinders and twain uneven rectangles. I hadnt sight them before. mayhap hed gone to get them while we were away.\r\nâ€Å" are you sleeping here tonight or am I?” Jeb asked Jared in a casual tone.\r\nJared looked at the shapes by Jebs feet.\r\nâ€Å"I am,” he effected curtl y. â€Å"And I only bespeak one bedroll.”\r\nJeb raised a thick-skulled eyebrow.\r\nâ€Å"Its not one of us, Jeb. You left over(p) this on me-so butt out.”\r\nâ€Å"Shes not an animal, either, kid. And you wouldnt treat a dog this way.”\r\nJared didnt answer. His teeth ground together.\r\nâ€Å" neer figured you for a cruel man,” Jeb give tongue to softly. But he picked up one of the cylinders, put his arm done a strap, and slung it over his shoulder, then stuffed one rectangle-a pillow-under his arm.\r\nâ€Å"Sorry, honey,” he say as he passed me, patting my shoulder.\r\nâ€Å" attenuated that out!” Jared growled.\r\nJeb shrugged and ambled away. Before he was out of sight, I hurried to disappear into my cell; I hid in its darkest reaches, coiling myself into a tight ball that I hoped was too small to see.\r\nInstead of lurking silently and invisibly in the outside tunnel, Jared spread his bedroll directly in front of the mouth of my prison. He plumped his pillow a few times, possibly trying to rub it in that he had one. He lay down on the mat and crossed his arms over his chest. That was the piece of him that I could see by dint of the hole-just his crossed arms and half of his stomach.\r\nHis struggle was that same dark gold tan that had haunted my ambitions for the hold water half year. It was very strange to have that piece of my dream in solid reality not five feet from me. Surreal.\r\nâ€Å"You wont be able to canary yellow gone me,” he warned. His percentage was softer than before-sleepy. â€Å"If you try…” He yawned. â€Å"I will butcher you.”\r\nI didnt respond. The warning struck me as a bit of an insult. Why would I try to vellicate past him? Where would I go? Into the hands of the barbarians out there waiting for me, all of them wishing that I would make exactly that kind of dullard attempt? Or, supposing I could somehow sneak past them, back out into the devasta te that had nearly baked me to death the last time Id well-tried to cross it? I wondered what he thought me capable of. What political platform did he count on I was hatching to overthrow their little world? Did I really seem so effectual? Wasnt it clear how pathetically defenseless I was?\r\nI could tell when he was profoundly asleep because he started twitching the way Melanie remembered he occasionally did. He only slept so restlessly when he was upset. I watched his fingers clench and unclench, and I wondered if he was pipe dream that they were wrapped around my fuck.\r\nThe days that followed-perhaps a week of them, it was impossible to keep track-were very quiet. Jared was like a silent wall between me and everything else in the world, good or tough. There was no sound but that of my own breathing, my own movements; there were no sights but the portentous cave around me, the circle of dull light, the familiar tray with the same rations, the brief, stolen glimpses of Jared; there were no touches but the pit rocks against my skin; there were no tastes but the bitter water, the hard bread, the bland soup, the beechen roots, over and over again.\r\nIt was a very strange combination: constant terror, retentive aching physical discomfort, and excruciating monotony. Of the three, the grampus boredom was the hardest to take. My prison was a sensory-deprivation chamber.\r\nTogether, Melanie and I worried that we were firing to go mad.\r\nWe both hear a portion in our head, she pointed out. Thats never a good sign.\r\nWere passing game to forget how to speak, I worried. How persistent has it been since anyone talked to us?\r\n iv days ago you thanked Jeb for legal transfer us food, and he said you were welcome. Well, I think it was four days ago. Four long sleeps ago, at least. She seemed to sigh. Stop chaw your nails-it took me years to break that habit.\r\nBut the long, bothersome nails bothered me. I dont really think we need to worry about bad habits in the long term.\r\nJared didnt let Jeb influence food again. Instead, someone brought it to the end of the manor hall and Jared retrieved it. I got the same thing-bread, soup, and vegetables-twice every day. sometimes there were extra things for Jared, packaged foods with marque names I recognized-Red Vines, Snickers, Pop-Tarts. I tried to imagine how the humans had gotten their hands on these delicacies.\r\nI didnt expect him to share-of course not-but I wondered sometimes if he thought I was hoping he would. One of my few entertainments was hearing him eat his treats, because he eer did so ostentatiously, perhaps rubbing it in the way he had with the pillow that first night.\r\nOnce, Jared easy ripped open a bag of Cheetos-showy about it as usual-and the rich smell of dissimulator powdered cheese rolled through my cave… delicious, irresistible. He ate one slowly, letting me hear each straightforward crunch.\r\nMy stomach growled loudly, and I laughed a t myself. I hadnt laughed in so long; I tried to remember the last time and couldnt-just that strange bout of macabre vehemence in the desert, which really didnt count as jest. Even before Id come here, there hadnt been much Id found funny.\r\nBut this seemed humorous to me for some reason-my stomach yearning later that one small Cheeto-and I laughed again. A sign of madness, surely.\r\nI didnt jazz how my reply offended him, but he got up and disappeared. After a long moment, I could hear him eating the Cheetos again, but from farther away. I peeked out of the hole to see that he was sitting in the shadows at the end of the corridor, his back to me. I pulled my head inside, afraid he mightiness turn and catch me watching. From then on, he stayed down at that end of the hall as much as possible. Only at night did he stretch out in front of my prison.\r\nTwice a day-or rather twice a night, as he never took me when the others were about-I got to walk to the room with the rivers ; it was a highlight, despite the terror, as it was the only time I was not change posture into the unnatural shapes my small cave oblige on me. Each time I had to crawl back inside was harder than the last.\r\n one-third times that week, always during the sleeping hours, someone came to check on us.\r\nThe first time it was Kyle.\r\nJareds sudden lunge to his feet woke me. â€Å"Get out of here,” he warned, holding the gun ready.\r\nâ€Å" sightly checking,” Kyle said. His voice was far away but loud and rough enough that I was sure it was not his brother. â€Å"Someday you might not be here. Someday you might sleep too soundly.”\r\nJareds only answer was to cock the gun.\r\nI heard Kyles laughter trailing behind him as he left.\r\nThe other two times I didnt know who it was. Kyle again, or maybe Ian, or maybe someone whose name I hadnt learned. all I knew was that twice more than I was woken by Jared jumping to his feet with the gun pointed at the intruder . No more language were spoken. Whoever was just checking didnt bother to make conversition. When they were gone, Jared went back to sleep quickly. It took me longer to quiet my heart.\r\nThe fourth part time was something new.\r\nI was not quite asleep when Jared started awake, rolling to his knees in a swift movement. He came up with the gun in his hands and a threat on his lips.\r\nâ€Å"Easy,” a voice murmured from the distance. â€Å"I come in peace.”\r\nâ€Å"Whatever youre selling, Im not buying,” Jared growled.\r\nâ€Å"I just want to talk.” The voice came closer. â€Å"Youre buried down here, missing the authorized discussions… We miss your take on things.”\r\nâ€Å"Im sure,” Jared said sarcastically.\r\nâ€Å"Oh, put the gun down. If I was readying to fight you, I would have come with four guys this time.”\r\nThere was a diddle silence, and when Jared spoke again, his voice carried a ghost of dark humor. â€Å" Hows your brother these days?” he asked. Jared seemed to enjoy the question. It relaxed him to tease his visitor. He sat down and slouched against the wall middle(prenominal) in front of my prison, at ease, but with the gun still ready.\r\nMy neck ached, seeming to breed that the hands that had crushed and bruised it were very close by.\r\nâ€Å"Hes still fuming about his nose,” Ian said. â€Å"Oh, well-its not the first time its been broken. Ill tell him you said you were sorry.”\r\nâ€Å"Im not.”\r\nâ€Å"I know. No one is ever sorry for hitting Kyle.”\r\nThey laughed quietly together; there was a sense of camaraderie in their amusement that seemed wildly out of perplex while Jared held a gun broadly speaking pointed in Ians direction. But then, the bonds that were forged in this desperate place must have been very strong. Thicker than blood.\r\nIan sat down on the mat next to Jared. I could see his profile in silhouette, a black shape against the blue light. I get a lined that his nose was perfect-straight, aquiline, the kind of nose that Id seen in pictures of famous sculptures. Did that mean that others found him more bearable than the brother whose nose was practically broken? Or that he was break away at ducking?\r\nâ€Å"So what do you want, Ian? Not just an apology for Kyle, I imagine.”\r\nâ€Å"Did Jeb tell you?”\r\nâ€Å"I dont know what youre talk about.”\r\nâ€Å"Theyve given up the search. Even the seekers.”\r\nJared didnt comment, but I could feel the sudden latent hostility in the air around him.\r\nâ€Å"Weve been holding a close watch for some change, but they never seemed overly anxious. The search never strayed from the area where we abandoned the car, and for the past few days they were clearly flavor for a body rather than a survivor. because two nights ago we caught a lucky break-the search party left some trash in the open, and a pack of coyotes raided their base camp. One of them was coming back late and surprised the animals. The coyotes attacked and dragged the Seeker a good hundred yards into the desert before the rest of them heard its screams and came to the rescue. The other Seekers were armed, of course. They scared the coyotes off easily, and the victim wasnt mischievously hurt, but the event seems to have answered any questions they might have had about what happened to our invitee here.”\r\nI wondered how they were able to spy on the Seekers who searched for me-to see so much. I felt strangely exposed by the idea. I didnt like the picture in my head: the humans invisible, watching the souls they hated. The thought made the skin on the back of my neck prickle.\r\nâ€Å"So they packed up and left. The Seekers gave up the search. All the volunteers went home. No one is feeling for it.” His profile turned toward me, and I crooked down, hoping it was too dark to see me in here-that, like his face, I would appear as onl y a black shape. â€Å"I imagine its been declared officially dead, if they keep track of those things the way we used to. Jebs been verbalism ??I told you so to anyone wholl stand still long enough to hear it.”\r\nJared grumbled something incoherent; I could only pick out Jebs name. wherefore he inhaled a sharp breath, blew it out, and said, â€Å"All right, then. I guess thats the end of it.”\r\nâ€Å"Thats what it looks like.” Ian hesitated for a moment and then added, â€Å"Except… Well, its probably nothing at all.”\r\nJared tensed again; he didnt like having his intelligence edited. â€Å"Go on.”\r\nâ€Å"No one but Kyle thinks much of it, and you know how Kyle is.”\r\nJared grunted his assent to that.\r\nâ€Å"Youve got the best instincts for this kind of thing; I wanted your opinion. Thats wherefore Im here, taking my life into my hands to transit the restricted area,” Ian said dryly, and then his voice was utterly s erious again. â€Å"You see, theres this one… a Seeker, no doubt about that-it packs a Glock.”\r\nIt took me a second to understand the develop he used. It wasnt a familiar part of Melanies vocabulary. When I understood that he was talk about a kind of gun, the wistful, prehensile tone in his voice made me feel slightly ill.\r\nâ€Å"Kyle was the first to notice how this one stood out. It didnt seem important to the rest-certainly not part of the decision-making process. Oh, it had suggestions enough, from what we could see, but no one seemed to listen to it. Wish we couldve heard what it was expression…”\r\nMy skin prickled anxiously again.\r\nâ€Å"Anyway,” Ian continued, â€Å"when they called off the search, this one wasnt happy with the decision. You know how the parasites are always so… very pleasant? This was weird-its the enveloping(prenominal) Ive ever seen them come to an argument. Not a real argument, because none of the others argued back, but the hard-pressed one sure looked like it was competition with them. The core group of Seekers disregarded it-theyre all gone.”\r\nâ€Å"But the unhappy one?” Jared asked.\r\nâ€Å"It got in a car and drove halfway to Phoenix. Then it drove back to Tucson. Then it drove west again.”\r\nâ€Å"Still searching.”\r\nâ€Å"Or very confused. It stopped at that thingamabob store by the peak. Talked to the parasite that worked there, though that one had already been questioned.”\r\nâ€Å"Huh,” Jared grunted. He was evoke now, concentrating on the puzzle.\r\nâ€Å"Then it went for a ascension up the peak-stupid little thing. Had to be longing alive, wearing black from head to toe.”\r\nA spasm rocked through my body; I found myself off the floor, cringing against the back wall of my cell. My hands flew up instinctively to protect my face. I heard a hiss echo through the small space, and only after it faded did I realize it was mine.\r\nâ€Å"What was that?” Ian asked, his voice shocked.\r\nI peeked through my fingers to see both of their faces leaning through the hole toward me. Ians was black, but part of Jareds was lit, his features hard as stone.\r\nI wanted to be still, invisible, but tremors I couldnt control were vibe violently down my spine.\r\nJared leaned away and came back with the lamp in his hands.\r\nâ€Å"Look at its eyes,” Ian muttered. â€Å"Its frightened.”\r\nI could see both their expressions now, but I looked only at Jared. His gaze was tightly focused on me, calculating. I guessed he was thinking through what Ian had said, looking for the stir up to my behavior.\r\nMy body wouldnt stop shaking.\r\nShell never give up, Melanie moaned.\r\nI know, I know, I moaned back.\r\nWhen had our uncongeniality turned to fear? My stomach convoluted and heaved. Why couldnt she just let me be dead like the rest of them had? When I was dead, would she hunt me still?\r\nâ €Å"Who is the Seeker in black?” Jared suddenly barked at me.\r\nMy lips trembled, but I didnt answer. Silence was safest.\r\nâ€Å"I know you can talk,” Jared growled. â€Å"You talk to Jeb and Jamie. And now youre going to talk to me.”\r\nHe climbed into the mouth of the cave, breathe in with surprise at how tightly he had to fold himself to manage it. The low ceiling forced him to kneel, and that didnt make him happy. I could see hed rather stand over me.\r\nI had nowhere to run. I was already wedged into the deepest corner. The cave barely had room for the two of us. I could feel his breath on my skin.\r\nâ€Å"Tell me what you know,” he ordered.\r\n'